Low self-esteem is something that pretty much everybody struggles with from time to time. Yet, we don’t talk about it very openly. Confidence is everything in our fast-paced, modern world and people are encouraged to ‘put on a happy face,’ even if they’re feeling anxious or scared inside. This is why problems with self-esteem can be quite insidious.
You might not realize that your confidence is low. Maybe you just don’t feel as happy as you used to or you think that you should do and you’re looking for the reason. It is common for people to blame everything from their job to their family, a lack of hobbies, or even the place that they live. However, very often the explanation can be found with their self-perception.
This guide to some of the key indicators of low self-esteem will help you determine whether a confidence boost is what you need to turn things around.
You Don’t Like Being Complimented
One classic sign of low self-esteem is an inability to simply accept and acknowledge compliments. People who aren’t very confident tend to either minimize the attention, by responding with disagreement or they turn the focus away from themselves. They might blush, feel intensely awkward, or find it difficult to make eye contact.
If you find it hard when people say nice things about you, it is likely because you’re not allowing yourself to believe them. This is a habit that can be tricky to change, but the first step is avoiding negative responses. Don’t disagree or explain why it can’t be true; simply smile and say thank you.
You Don’t Always Look After Yourself
It is a misconception to assume that everybody with low self-esteem is a slob or unclean. However, things like eating poorly, letting social engagements slide, and taking less interest in your appearance are good indications. Being connected and engaged with oneself is not vanity; it represents a desire to be the best version of yourself.
To try and rectify the problem, just make little changes. Moving too fast or forcing yourself into tough routines (like an everyday visit to the gym) is setting yourself up to fail. Start small and do something nice for yourself every day, as long as it promotes your physical and mental well being in the long term. For instance, eating lots of cake doesn’t really count.
Doubting Your Value to Friends and Family
People with confidence issues are prone to constant introspection. Even when they have a great time with friends, they come home and wonder if they acted annoyingly or if anybody wished that they weren’t around. The thing to remember is that your actions and thoughts are the only things that you have full control over.
You will meet people in life who don’t like you. It is inevitable, but it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person or that your friends and family don’t think you’re wonderful. Stop doubting, give it a rest with the questions, and just accept that people invite you places and strike up conversations with you because they want to.
You Apologize All the Time
Behavioral studies have shown that people with low self-esteem are the first ones to step away from most situations. So, if they were in a hallway and another person were approaching them, they’d be the one to move aside and apologize. The scene is repeated in doorways, on pavements, and in a hundred other social situations.
While there are definitely times when good manners are necessary, constantly moving aside and apologizing when you don’t need to is telling the world that you’re not valuable. You’re putting your own worth below that of people that you don’t even know and it can lead to awkwardness and discomfort, as well as the inability to fight for opportunities.
The First Tentative Steps towards Self-Confidence
You can’t just become confident, particularly if you’ve always been a shy person. However, you can boost your self-esteem gradually. Little things like waiting for other people to step aside or not running ahead to hold open every door can have a big impact over time. They are tiny reminders that you are valuable; that you are a person with lots of to offer and you deserve special treatment too.
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