Wouldn’t it be nice if certain people came with warning labels like the ones found on cigarettes or rat poison? While the chemicals found in these items cannot be immediately seen with the naked eye, their long term effects can be felt through pain or even death. People’s behaviors are much the same way.
There are certain behaviors that are deemed toxic. These toxic behaviors should be avoided.
• Excessive Negativity
There are people in our lives that live for the negativity. Nothing makes these people happy. No matter what positives we are experiencing in our lives, they see only the negative side. The power of positive thinking may seem like a cliché, but it is a good start on a path to a better life. If you think it you can feel it and if you feel it you can have it. When you work hard at building the walls of positivity, the last thing you want is excessive amounts of negativity being the 2 ton wrecking ball. You are not always going to be positive; real life gets us down from time to time. Surrounding yourself with a support system that can help you through those thoughts is always best for your personal growth.
There are so many negative condentations when you mention the word gossip. Gossiping is a misuse of potential positive energy. Spending time talking about others is a waste of that time. Gossiping is usual cruel with its content and serves no other purpose than to put down others. Using that energy for positive purposes will build better relationships and will make you feel better in the end.
• Selfish Behaviors
The best relationships are ones that are built on meeting the needs of the whole and not just one of its parts. Ants are a great example of this. The ants all work together to gather food for the colony. Despite what each ant contributes; they all eat. Recogonizing selfish behavior in a relationship is usually hard to see. Especially when one person is so unselfish that they work hard to see that the needs of the other is met. At some point sacrifices need to be made on all sides. If someone makes you feel bad for making your needs known; chances are that the relationship is very toxic.
• Lack of Compassion
Life has many twists and turns. It isn’t always easy. These are the times when it is best to surround yourself with people who can empathize with you. They can be a shoulder to cry on or the hand to lift you back up when you fall. That’s compassion and that is a quality you want to be surrounded by. People with a lack of compassion can easily bring you down lower when you are seemingly at your lowest. You should never tolerate someone’s inability to be kind to you or others.
Stubbornness works in doses. It’s the times when we refuse to cave that can help us push harder to reach the apex of our goals. However, when you refuse to compromise or simply are unwilling to see things from an alternate point of view that stubbornness becomes a toxic element in a relationship. If you are always the one giving in; it may be time to rethink the relationship.
• Superficial Judgments
Perception is reality. Everyone processes things differently. If you try to make sense of those perceptions based on what you are seeing and what is happening that can be healthy. When we allow thoughts to define actions and experiences based on a hope for what we desire, then those become superficial judgments and are unhealthy to our relationships.
• Manipulative Actions
Some people know exactly what they want and some of these people will use manipulation to get it. Manipulation comes in many forms. Some people use the guilt trip to get to their destination. Others will use flattery, while others may try strong arming or bullying tactics. It is always best to stay the course, stay true to your morals, and don’t let these tactics effect or influence you.
• Playing the Victim
We should always hold ourselves accountable. Life isn’t always perfect or even the way we plan, but when those plans go south we need to be accountable. Some people refuse to be held accountable. It is always someone else’s fault or the world was against them. Playing the role of the victim is always the easiest way out. You don’t have to be accountable and you can blame others without sharing in the responsibility. Surrounding yourself with these types of people can have a very negative impact on your thought process and could have you believing that you are a victim too.
There are no surgeon general warning for people. The FDA has not examined each and every person and labeled them with warnings. We have to be vigilant and recognize the signs in these behaviors. We have to develop the abilities to read people and weed out the ones who will have the negative impact on our positive world. Sometimes we get so caught up in the negativity that we become addicted and by then it is too late. Know the early signs, push out the negative, and welcome in the positive. When you succeed at that; your relationships will flourish.
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