Life feels like we are on a roller-coaster that is out of control sometimes. We encounter pleasure, adversity and a whole lot of experiences amid the challenges of dealing with events that come our way. Even though incidents that occur are usually meant to happen, destiny if you will, we decide whether each event is a good thing or a bad thing. It is often certain beliefs that dictate whether we can be turn around a negative situation to make it into a positive one. We seem to have accepted these beliefs as the truth, when perhaps we should be questioning what we truly believe and whether our reality is everyone else’s.
We are at the start of a new year, and during this time we often set goals. We decide what we want to achieve over the coming year. What would help us and others is to think about certain things in life that we should stop believing. Below are ten beliefs that we may want to let go of or re-think.
- 1. Life is hard
We have endured many experiences that we thought were the end of life as we knew it. Later on, however it turned out that the world was still here and so were we and we learned something from the experience. Sometimes we felt grateful for what happened. Life can have hard times, but it is not really hard, unless you really believe it is. With hard times comes learning and loved ones often pull together, so sometimes the hard times can be the best of times.
A different way of looking at this is: Life is a thrilling and exciting ride, which can be hard at times. Often we determine how each moment or catastrophe affects us. There is always the out of our control stuff, which is frustrating, but not within our power to change. Sometimes you just need to breathe and take a time out before reacting to the situation.
- 2. They have it easy
Comparing your stuff in life to others is something everyone does and we often try to not own up to this. We will judge our lives based on how we think others are living. We might envy the simplicity someone seems to have most of the time, however appearances are never what they seem and you never know what really goes on in someone else’s life. You will never be able to understand their lot in life, so it’s better to stop doing this.
Try to stop complaining. Can you last 24 hours without complaining. This is an interesting exercise and shows how easy it can be to revert to the negative. Keep the focus on your life and basically; mind your business.
- 3. They think I am ……
This point follows on from point two. When you compare and then worry about what other people think, this creates a lot of negativity within your mind. You will always feel self conscious to some extent, and honestly; this is a waste of your time. You have more important things to worry about.
Look at it this way; if you feel as though someone is judging you, you are probably judging them. They are probably self conscious as well, but both of you would not notice, you are too busy judging each other. Focus on being your authentic self and lose the fake version of yourself that you think protects you.
- 4. That was all luck
Are you really going to not give yourself credit when something good or great happens? I feel very strongly that things happen for a reason. So this is your good Karma, please refrain from discounting your efforts by chalking it up to luck.
You are more responsible for things that happen than you realize. I don’t believe in luck, we make our own luck. Allow this experience to push you forward and build your confidence.
- 5. I’ll do it tomorrow
This a favorite excuse for most of us. I do it often. Procrastination is something we do when we feel overwhelmed. Sometimes it is a fear of failing, like promising yourself to write that book you planned to write, and tomorrow never comes.
One exercise to practice is making tomorrow, today and to take control of your life. Getting things done and reaching your goals is an ongoing process, but you will never get there if you don’t make a start and keep at it.
- 6. I need my partner to complete me
Relationships can be wonderful and bring so much to your life, but they should not dictate your life. If you feel as though you need your relationship to feel happy and compete in life is a lie. If you are too needy, you might smother your partner and push them away. If you really believe that your relationship is the be all and end all of your life; that is rocky ground you are standing on, given the failure rate for relationships.
Try to see your relationship as an extension of yourself, not your entire reason for living. Work on how you feel about yourself, it would be the greatest gift to give yourself unconditional love and it would also benefit your relationships with others.
- 7. I can’t do anything big; I’m just one person in a very big world
We all dream of doing something that changes the world; however we often stop at that point because of the size of this goal. We feel that it would take thousands of us to make any real change and believe that there is no point in trying.
Every change you see in the world, every single thing started with one idea, an idea that was created by one person who decided to keep pushing ahead to make their idea a reality. Did they do this alone? No; people got on board because they believed in this one idea as well. Waiting until you get a certain sign to move forward with an idea means you will never act. Start working on this today and help will show up.
- 8. I will never get over that
Life experiences can often be traumatic, and we often find it hard to let go of things that have hurt us. What this essentially does if we let it; is taint everything good in our lives. We make decisions based on our emotional hurts and the person that hurts us often gets treated like garbage because we believe they deserve it. Often we transfer this onto newcomers who have entered our lives who have nothing to do with what happened in our past.
Every hurt, every horrid event has an opportunity within it to learn. Learn from it and grow in the process. Let go of the people who have hurt you and stop carrying your hurt feelings into other relationships.
- 9. My family has done it this way for years
Traditions are wonderful and all and carrying on certain traditions is fine, but some can limit your life and seem a little silly, I am going to tell a story to explain this.
I used to always make a tuna bake dish with corn flakes on top of the cheesy topping. My partner and I never really liked the corn flakes, but I did this because my mother did to give the dish extra crunchiness. I think keeping this tradition alive was keeping my mother’s memory alive for me. When I realized that both of us did not like the crunchy topping I stopped doing this.
The bottom line was that it did not make sense to keep these traditions alive. Doing something that my partner and I did not enjoy was silly. The world is changing, and it will change a lot faster if we were able to think about things more and make different decisions, instead of holding old beliefs that are now obsolete and don’t make sense.
- 10. I was born this way
This statement is often used as an excuse for bad behavior and an excuse not to improve our lives. We might also use this statement to boast about certain talents or skills as well as our flaws. We really don’t believe in change, when it has been proven time and time again that it is possible to change many things within ourselves.
Live life and see life as a moment to moment journey instead of based on what has gone before you. You develop certain character traits simply by existing and paying attention to what you see. You might disagree with this, but I believe that most of us are shaped into who we are by how we are raised. Some personality traits are hard wired, psychiatrists believe psychopaths are born that way, but most of us can be taught how to behave from birth and through childhood, so the “I was born this way” excuse does not hold any water with me.
Beliefs are often difficult to let go of and sometimes impossible. It might not be possible to change your beliefs if they are really important to you, but at least keep an open mind to the possibility that your beliefs might be no longer useful to you.
Source: Collective Evolution
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