Everyone has a negative side – unappealing tendencies and toxic thoughts – that they try to hide very well, but which tends to arise occasionally. These thoughts and beliefs are potentially dangerous but also easy to suppress and control. All you need is mindfulness and awareness, always to be alert, countering them before they take control of you.
Here are some of the common wrong beliefs many people cannot seem to overcome.
1. Vulnerability is dangerous
Most people tend to hold the burden of what they feel or think since, according to them, opening up to another person will leave them vulnerable. However, they do not consider the other conveniences that come with connecting such as happiness, contentment, and even love.
It is not fair to forego the sweet things in this short life out of fear of vulnerability – it is a risk well worth taking.
2. Fitting in is good
Acceptance and self-actualization come with a great feeling of freedom. Unfortunately, most people prefer to fit in with the crowd lest their peers think negatively about them. In doing so, the numerous, and at times distorted, opinions of other people will confuse them to the extent they forget their identity.
Standing out is not bad, it may even help encourage other people around you free themselves from this slave mentality.
3. The time to make changes is long gone
This is certainly not true – you have the chance to turn your life around for the better so long as you are breathing. The immense pressure sometimes brought by family and friends may make you feel like a failure or somehow broken, but you still have the strength to make the necessary changes and stick to them.
It all depends on your will – you need a positive attitude.
4. Being sad is bad
The things that are happening around you easily influence feelings like happiness, sadness, and excitement, among others. Unfortunately, no one is fully capable of controlling everything that happens in his/her life. As such, it is important to accept the fact that happiness and sadness will always complement each other, and one cannot be forever happy.
Avoid comparing sad time to happier times, rather, embrace the sad time and always remember to live life to the fullest.
5. The things people do to you are personal
Contrary to what you may believe, people are not very good judges of character. More often than not, what they say or think about you is based on their earlier experiences in life, making it more about them than you. In other times, people tend to speak mindlessly – you do too at certain times without realizing it.
As such, learn to judge good from baseless criticism and understand people for what they are. Life will become much easier for you and your close relations this way.
6. Perfection waits out there
Everyone envisions a perfect life, with a perfect spouse, job, kids, neighborhood, body, and virtually everything. Unfortunately, search for perfectionism will always yield sorrow since nothing is perfect. Life is not constant and at any time a perfect job may turn into a nightmare, a drunken spouse may become your better half, in reality as on paper, and rainy clouds may suddenly go away, letting the sunshine through again.
As such, rather than seek perfectionism, try to make the best of the things around you and life will definitely be comfortable and enjoyable.
7. Nothing changes
Things change all the time; just because things are tough today does not mean it will be that way in the future. During good times, tough times seem outdated, and the future seems so secure – the same applies to tough times.
However, both eventually come around and go. As such, it is important always to be optimistic while also expecting the worst to act early and accordingly.
8. Being alone is wrong
It is better to be comfortable, happy, and lonely than to be in a relationship that makes your world feel crowded and broken. Make sure you choose your relationships wisely to enjoy the company of good people in your life. Until this happens, it is better to learn to enjoy your company than complicate your life with relationships that are eventually destined to fail.
Time to make a decision
Do you identify with any of the toxic thoughts and wrong beliefs? Do you have other different but equally dangerous thoughts? We would love to hear about them as well as what you do to cope and ensure your well-being.
Please share your thoughts and experiences with us by leaving a comment below.