As we journey through life we experience many triumphs as well as many setbacks. For whatever the reason, it is the traumatic events that often change our lives. Even in healthy families there are old wounds that still hurt us as adults. However, if we stop thinking that every traumatic event was an accident, and start thinking maybe some of it was fate or destiny, then we might be able to gain power as we learn to live with the hurt.
This will require one to change their perspective on how they view hurt and trauma. Every trauma, every wound, is a lesson in personal development. When you allow yourself to think of trauma as a sacred thing – where you are allowed to hurt and grow – you walk the right path in life.
If life is to be lived to its fullest, then we must allow ourselves to engage with our pain and heartache, as we work to refine and cultivate it. The pain and the heartache never leave. The question then becomes, “Do I have the courage to transform my pain, and refine my soul?”
Once you allow yourself to enter the sacred space where you can confront your pain, and learn from it, you will begin to notice that life runs in cycles. Most of our problems do not get solved, they come together – and then they fall apart again. Over and over. During this time we must allow a space and time to deal with our misery, our grief, our joy, and our relief.
Strength is the ability to adapt to all the changes which come about from this falling apart and then coming back together stage. We go from whole, to broke, and back again. Trauma is falling apart; the scar from this trauma is the coming back together. Next comes the adapting stage, which means adapting to a new way of thinking by taking the pain and giving it a place of honor where it can teach you another lesson. Life may be filled with pain, suffering, and horror, but by experiencing these hurts, you know you are very much alive.
It might take your whole lifetime to heal your sacred wounds – you are constantly healing and falling apart. Wise people learn to adapt to these changes in novel ways: they stare into the abyss and stare down their inner-most demons. After a while, these demons can be transformed into things of beauty.
Finding the beauty and the strength in pain is not much different from the way a pearl is formed: the oyster, annoyed by a tiny piece of sand, continuously covers the grain of sand with layer after layer of lustrous deposits, which ultimately form the beautiful pearl. Your brain can work the same kind of magic.
Buddha said that, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.” If we resist our pain, we end up suffering longer. However, when we embrace it we have the ability to change our simple wounds into sacred wounds, learn from them, and in doing so, ease our own suffering.
It takes courage to face our pain and demons. However, we must do so in order to transform each demon into something wise and strong. Humans are multifaceted beings who have the inner power to heal not only their own wounds, but the wounds of the whole world.